3 Realistic Language Upgrades
Lately, I’ve been seeing these three words used in inaccurate ways:
deportation
babysitting
craftsmanship
My number one Principle of Optimized Language is Reflect Reality.
Distorted language causes real problems. On the flip side, accurate language contributes to more accurate mental models and supports better decision making.
So let’s dig into the ways these words can be unrealistic and how we can do better.
1. Deportation
I write a lot about a distortion I call softening language. This distortion is used to present bad behavior as if it is ok and to suggest that we excuse actions that people should actually be held accountable for.
All words have a semantic frame, a hidden structure that relates the word to the world around us. It’s like a tiny play, with characters and actions. For deport:
Who gets deported? A non-citizen who has violated a rule or a law.
Where do they get deported to? Their country of origin.
What is the process of getting deported? The non-citizen goes through due process. This is a procedure set up to protect legal rights and ensure fairness, justice, and liberty. If the non-citizen is found guilty of violating relevant laws and rules, they are then eligible to be deported.
When we use the word deport accurately, it means that only non-citizens who have gone through due process and found guilty are deported.
Photo of ICE detaining a person in either Oklahoma or Texas in 2019 (via Wikimedia Commons)
When members of the current US administration (and most of US media) use deport, it is often a distortion. A word used to make it sound like only non-citizens who are criminals are involved and that the correct procedures are being followed.
But that’s just not true.
Instead, we have:
unlawful abductions and detainment, often by unidentified and masked agents
detainment of US citizens
detainment of children who are separated from their families
detainment of people who have not violated rules or laws
detainment of people with asylum status or people in the process of obtaining legal immigrant status
the complete absence of due process
transfer to notoriously dangerous foreign prisons that violate human rights (instead of to the country of origin)
forced labor and unlimited imprisonment without a set sentence
So the words deport and deportation as they are used by the US administration and US media are often distortions that do not reflect reality.
2. Babysitting
Dads who are taking care of their children solo are often referred to as babysitting. A lone dad at a playground or at a market may hear, “So you’re babysitting? Good for you!” But this use of babysitting isn’t accurate.
In the semantic frame for babysitting:
Who is babysitting? A person who is not a parent or a guardian.
What is the time frame of babysitting? Temporary.
What is the reason for babysitting? Children need to be taken care of because their parents or guardians aren’t there.
To sum up, a person who is babysitting is temporarily taking care of a child or children in the absence of a parent or guardian.
A child’s father doesn’t fit into this scenario and semantic frame. And saying that he’s babysitting suggests when a mother isn’t there, it’s like there is no parent present at all. In other words, that only moms are “real parents.”
But there is no inherent correlation between gender and parenting capacity. Also, note that plenty of men with children are not in heterosexual relationships.
Photo by Vitolda Klein (via Unsplash)
Because my specialization is workplace interactions, I frequently draw attention to how often people perceived as female are “presumed incompetent” outside of domestic labor. Women (more precisely, people seen as women) are sometimes assumed to be non-technical or without even basic industry knowledge and skills. Conversely, they are often assumed to be good at and a “natural” fit for “office housework” like taking notes, coordinating schedules, and organizing lunches.
The flip side that I rarely get to talk about is that people perceived as male are often “presumed incompetent” when it comes to domestic labor. Especially cooking, cleaning, and childcare.
Sometimes this is due to weaponized incompetence. And sometimes it’s due to gendered assumptions that don’t correlate with reality.
Plenty of dads are also the “responsible” parent. And what is childcare by a responsible parent? It’s not babysitting. It’s parenting.
3. Craftsmanship
The other day, museum that I’m a member of emailed me about a big sale in their store. So I dutifully clicked through and was looking at the jewelry and clicked on a pair of cute earrings.
The listing named the jewelry maker, who has a traditionally female name and whose About Us section on her website refers to her as she and her. The listing then went on to say that each piece was handmade “with craftsmanship and attention to detail.”
This is a museum that consistently impresses me with the language in its labels and squibs and magazine articles. So, I was surprised to see this suboptimal choice of craftsmanship.
What is craftsmanship? The work of a craftsman who is skillful at their craft.
Who is a craftsman? A male person who is skilled at making or doing something.
Craftsman and craftsmanship have male-specific semantic frames. This shouldn’t be a surprise, since craftsman is a compound word made up of crafts and man.
For my sighted readers, would you ever describe the person pictured below as a craftsman?
Photo by Sasha Kim (via Pexels)
I would bet money that you would not. And if you saw this photo with a caption reading “A craftsman hard at work,” you might be taken aback.
Without a visual representation, it’s easier to overlook the fact that it’s not just men who do skilled and careful work with their hands. Especially if the focus is on the work and not the maker, as it is in craftsmanship.
But when you pay attention, it becomes clear that craftsmanship as a blanket term often doesn't reflect reality.
What can you do?
You can commit to reflecting reality and upgrade to more accurate terminology.
Only use the words deport and deportation when the definition is being met. For other cases, use more accurate terminology, like abduction and unlawful detainment and expulsion without due process and human trafficking. If you’re not comfortable using these more accurate terms publicly, like in social media posts or emails to a newspaper ombudsperson, you can still use them in private conversations. Language is catchy, and even these small interactions can spread the more accurate framing.
I know some dads who are insulted when someone undermines their parenting by calling it babysitting. When they have capacity, they make quick corrections like, “Oh, I’m an involved dad, so I prefer the term parenting.” Conversely, if you hear a dad downplaying his parental responsibilities by calling the childcare that he’s doing babysitting, you can point out that babysitting isn’t the accurate term and what he’s doing is parenting. Because he’s a parent and not a temporary caretaker.
Easiest of all is substituting artisan for craftsman and artisanship for craftsmanship. Now you’ve got semantic frames that reflect reality and don’t erase all the non-male people out there doing cool work.
Copyright 2025 © Worthwhile Research & Consulting
Worthwhile is on the cutting edge of language optimization, language upgrades, and inclusive language. We guide people to improved soft skills, put together professional development programs, and guide leadership to more strategic and effective communication.